Stories from the beach

Today I took myself to the beach for a walk

– just a walk.

I love the sea,

and especially walking beside it.

Right now I am so grateful to all the people and for all the occasions that created associations for me,

the association of happy anticipation … with the smell of the sea,

the association of joy … with the feel of soft sand,

and the association of profound, uplifting peace … with the sight of the waves.

Today I was mindful of those associations.

Those emotions, that experience, brings to the fore so many stories,

and with those, then I can create so many meanings,

meanings about who I am, who I was, who I can be, and how I might live.

so many ways forward.

………………………………………..

There are other associations in my life –

fear at a particular tone of voice,

deep sadness at certain expressions,

stress from certain phrases.

The thanks for those comes a bit more reluctantly but it’s there

as I learn to see the stories,

the meanings,

the ways forward.

For me, being relaxed and aware, rather than bound up in productivity and focus, today, I am so glad I could experience the emotions brought on by the smells, the texture and the sight of the sea – brought on, brought up from my inner being, my cells.

And being aware, could then find the stories – so many – of family, of romance, or play and friends, of times and places – all hidden in my memories but also in the cells of my body where emotions are all stored- the sadnesses, the hurts, the joys and the love.

Let me extrapolate to the public speaking course I am creating – “story-based and holistic”, I am calling it.  Because though most of my speaking and writing training gave me the impression I should be creating my speeches and essays using very logical, structured methods, deep down my most successful works have been taken from within – from that place that stores the emotions, that stores the stories.  And my structures were all story-based – not narratives but based on the science and art of story-telling, even before I knew such a thing existed.

So it is really a culmination of decades of public speaking experience that I can now call on, in this exciting new story-based, holistic context, as I put together a different way of teaching public speaking.

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The Customer is Always Right. And for the duration of your speech, the audience is your only customer


 
 
It has always been a challenge to maintain the view that the customer is always right – not just in speaking, but in business especially.  It can try the most patient and accommodating business owner or customer service professional.
But if we can achieve it, maintain that view, go into our speaking with that view, then everything will fall into place so much more easily.
Validating your audience in any communication is guaranteed to build trust and engagement.
One of the basic premises of storytelling is that you need to meet the audience where they are.
And yes of course our audiences have the right to their objections to our propositions.  The sooner we address those objections the sooner we can hope to succeed in putting forward our visions for them.
The structure of your presentation falls into place.
If you believe that your audience is always right, that they deserve the respect that that entails, then you will be happy to prepare all that you can to gain the understanding you need of what your audience feels, thinks, knows is right.
You will build confidence and calm because you are not trying to manipulate, you are giving respect and service.
And you will have laid the groundwork for success for yourself and for your customer/audience.
The sooner speakers understand this, that public speaking is not a manipulation, not a performance to be judged, not all about themselves, the better the standard of speaking will be.  No, we may not have great “orators”, but we will have more successful public speakers, not afraid to be authentic and of service, and more audiences prepared to come back for more.
 
 
 
 
 

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[Quotation about public speaking] Speaking with style

“People think I can teach them style. What stuff it all is! Have something to say, and say it as clearly as you can. That is the only secret of style.”
— Matthew Arnold
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Enjoy the special flavour of the unpredictable

There never has been security. No man has ever known what he would meet around the next corner;
if life were predictable it would cease to be life, and be without flavour.
Eleanor Roosevelt.
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Harsh words, those, especially for those of us who like to be prepared.
“Never.” … “There never has been security.”
Still, we try to achieve it as much as we can,
prepare for all eventualities,
do our best to avoid the embarrassment of fumbling for an answer, for forgotten words, for a prepared logical flow.
And yet we know, underneath, that what Eleanor Roosevelt said is entirely true.
There will always be the unpredictable.
And we will prepare for that too.
………………….
What about the flavour it brings though?
The flavour of life … the flavour of an unpredictable speaking experience.
I like to think that being a speaker operates on at least 3 levels.
There is me, you, the speaker.
There is what I call the eagle eye – the ability we have to watch ourselves and our audiences from above and evaluate how things are going, in order to adapt.
And then there is the concept that beside the conversation we are having with our audience is another experience, the shared experience of being together in a presentation.
We can leverage that with little moments of quirking an eyebrow at the audience as if to say “See what I did there?”, or less subtly discussing what is actually going on. We can create a shared experience in this level.
If the experience is unexpected, this is where we can really capitalise on that flavour Eleanor mentioned – enjoy the moment together with the audience,
forge a bond of shared experience,
of response to the unexpected
with humour, with pathos or with jointly created action.
So while those un-predictable events can be challenging, especially if we worry too much about them beforehand, or label them failures afterwards,
they can also be the source of some of the most powerful and enjoyable experiences a speaker can have.

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[Quick Public Speaking Tip] One of the Secret Ingredients that Create Memorability


Memorability is important for us speakers, as it is for anyone building a brand, creating change, inspiring action, or wanting to be rehired.
If you want your audience to remember your message, there are several wonderful ingredients you can add to the mix.
Today let’s look at this one
… create an emotional connection.
Maya Angelou is quoted as saying   “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
When you make an emotional connection, you open up the pathways in your audience’s brains that facilitate recall.  Whatever you associate with that emotion will be retained along with the emotion, in their memories.
If you want to introduce a new way of thinking or doing for your audience to adopt, create an emotional connection.  Having already researched your audience, you should have some idea of what excites them, what they cry about, what their problems are.  And you can use that information to connect to their emotions.  Use examples that will push those buttons, appeal to what matters to them most.
Tell stories that create an emotion.
Use words that heighten emotion.
Use emotive verbs.  Rather than “she said” use “she screamed”, rather than “he went” use “he raced”.  Give your adjectives and adverbs the same treatment.
You can watch your audience as you go, and get a feel for what moves them.
It is also a fact that while statistics and logic and facts and figures are useful in supporting a point, they will not have the power over your audience that emotion does.  People will make decisions (and give you their attention) based on emotions … and justify them afterwards with logic.
So create an emotional connection with your audience and mix it in and around your facts, statistics and testimonials to engage your audience, have them remember your message and be open to making changes in their lives.

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A promise of success – The Official guide to TED Talks

ted_talksTED Talks: The Official TED Guide to Public Speaking Hardcover
– May 3, 2016
by Chris Anderson
At long last – what promises to be the definitive guide to public speaking, well to TED talks anyway (and no, I haven’t read it, and will wait for the Kindle edition, I think. It should be worth waiting for.)
Who wouldn’t want to be a speaker for TED? The whole system provides wonderful exposure. The discipline of being limited to 18 minutes ensures a tight, well constructed speech. There is professional coaching for all speakers.

Since taking over TED in the early 2000s, Chris Anderson has shown how carefully crafted short talks can be the key to unlocking empathy, stirring excitement, spreading knowledge, and promoting a shared dream. Done right, a talk can electrify a room and transform an audience’s worldview. Done right, a talk is more powerful than anything in written form.

Many people have shared their understanding of the magic behind TED talks, Carmine Gallo especially.
And now we can all share in the secrets behind the speeches. I guess it will be disappointing to some that there is no formula, but heartening, nevertheless since we become inured of formulae. No two speeches should be the same.
As Sir Ken Robinson said,

Is there a single recipe for a great speech? Of course not. But there are some essential ingredients, which the TED team sets out here with concision, verve and wit (which are also some of the ingredients). An inspiring, contemporary guide to the venerable arts of oratory. Sir Ken Robinson

‘Nobody in the world better understands the art and science of public speaking than Chris Anderson. He is absolutely the best person to have written this book’ Elizabeth Gilbert.

He coached her, along with the other TED speakers who have inspired us the most, Sir Ken Robinson, Amy Cuddy, Bill Gates, Salman Khan, Dan Gilbert, Mary Roach, Matt Ridley, and so many more,and has shared tips from their presentations.
Anderson lists his five key techniques to presentation success: Connection, Narration, Explanation, Persuasion and Revelation (plus the three to avoid). He also answers the most frequently asked questions about giving a talk, from ‘What should I wear?’ to ‘How do I handle my nerves?’.
The promise …
For anyone who has ever been inspired by a TED talk…
…this is an insider’s guide to creating talks that are unforgettable.
I suspect that it very well might be and look forward to reading it.
You can buy the book from Amazon, The Book Depository , Fishpond

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[Quick Public Speaking tip] Accepting an award? Shift the spotlight

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It’s very gratifying to be given an award … or to win, to be given first prize.
The spotlight is on you – your achievements – your win – your prize – your award.
Shift that spotlight.
Humility is called for here, not crowing.
Obvious, isn’t it?
You can thank the other team or the losers. Thank your parents, your friends, your dog, your kindergarten teacher.
Where is the spotlight?
On you, still. On you, surrounded by all your helpers to whom you are grateful, certainly.
Shift that spotlight.
Turn it right around and on to the presenter and the organisation or group or business that is presenting.
Be grateful to them. Laud them. Highlight their value and excellence. Establish your sense of belonging to them, but highlight them.
You have successfully established humility without any falseness, or compromising of your value.
You have created a valuable sense of community.
And you have made them feel good.

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[Public Speaking Quotation] The success of your presentation

“The success of your presentation will be judged not by the knowledge you send but by what the listener receives.”
— Lilly Walters
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[Quick Public Speaking Tip] "Speaking is selling"

speaking_selling
“Speaking is selling”
It’s an ugly phrase, that. I feel its ugliness.
Speaking is pure – a mixture of art and science.
Selling – urgh – ugly – involves low-down, dirty manipulation, something that forces its recipients and audiences to put up barriers against trust and hope and good taste – at best a game with winners and losers.
!!!!
Well, I have to say that’s a common feeling.
We start out with a fabulous idea. It makes us feel good and full of light. It’s going to change the world.
It might be an idea that will make people feel better, live better, or make the world a better place.
It might even be a product or program that will also make an income for us doing what makes us feel good and full of light instead of dull and bored and chained to a desk.
And then we discover that people do not necessarily come running to be part of that beautiful idea.
It’s going to involve persuasion and marketing … and … selling – and that doesn’t necessarily mean selling, as in asking for money for a product.
It can just mean selling the vision, the idea so that people change their minds, think differently, act differently – persuasion – just another form of that ugly manipulation, really.
What if …
What if …
we could shine that light out into the minds of the audience?
What if …
What if …
we could shine that light as an inspiration, a source of hope, an answer?
What if …
What if …
it illuminated a vision those audience members already had – buried beneath a deep, heavy layer of doubt and self-distrust and painful sense of failure?
Not so ugly?
Not so shameful?
Not so manipulative?
“Speaking is inspiring”!

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[Quotation about public speaking] Public speaking will have its place

“As long as there are human rights to be defended; as long as there are great interests to be guarded; as long as the welfare of nations is a matter for discussion so long will public speaking have it place.” ~ William Jennings Bryan
Public speaking has its place
In my current obsession with storytelling, I have discovered a Hopi Proverb which says the “Those who tell the stories rule the world.”
Leaders everywhere are those who give their followers something to believe in, a narrative that explains the present and paints a future.
And leaders are not just those in government or religion.
They lead in business, they lead in our institutions, they lead in our families.
We all have the capacity to be a leader at some time.
I am only thankful that the skills of public speaking are there to give us the power to lead and to create a world with values that we can uphold.