Some of us are natural speakers at work.
Some of us are not.
For some of us it feels natural to speak up, chat on any subject, create a personal brand and credibility in our work place.
For some of us it is a challenge that we would rather not face.
It’s partly natural skill, partly personality and for some it is training and practice.
For the rest of us, it means, fear, challenge and avoiding public speaking at all costs.
Oftentimes, public speaking is seen as formally standing up before a crowd and deivering a speech. But the skills and techniques can be applied to group conversations at the lunch table, explaining a new project to a team, reporting in the board room, pitching for funds or support, delivering a town hall, or conducting a weekly meeting.
They all require that same ability, confidence and commitment that the formal speech to an audience requires.
I had developed competency in public spesking before I began my career, so I was very grateful for the skill, and sometimes it was useful in the most unexpected places.
It was no problem for me to present our deparment/my department’s position at staff meetings, and to pitch for its consideration.
It was no problem for me to present to groups on behalf of the organisation.
But then I had already been through the challenges of public speaking nerves, already been through the stage fright and, already been through,at times, feeling almost paralysed facing a formal presentation.
I had been through the humiliating challenge of finding, well into a presentation, that my material was not what that audience needed. Fortunately they were forgiving and I was flexible enough to turn the presentation around and be really useful, but it was a hit to my confidence and I learned from it, and many other situations like it..
I had studied, taught and mentored in speech structure, body language and stage presence from school days.
So it gave me the confidence to stand and speak, use powerpoint and flip charts (and on occasion felt boards!!). And I was grateful for the skills and practice that I had.
It didn’t become quite so evident to me, just how much I appreciated having that behind me, though, until I had my first job interview after having chilren. I went back to work in my own field, highly qualified, and yet I was incredibly nervous. I hadn’t been for a job interview for decades, had no experience in them. I was given questions ahead of time and given 8 minutes to prepare. Fighting to get some sort of clarity and confidence, I suddenly thought of the public speaking basics – use the simple structure. Make your points with support. Remember the confident, relaxed body language, that works even when you are really nervous, and the grounding that brings confidence.
And it was the same when having reviews with my line managers and the CEO – prepare as much as possible, be confident in my knowledge and experience, make points with supports and use body language and grounding for calm confidence.
I cannot say it cured my nervousness altogether but it worked. I got the job!!
And that’s what I want to say to you. Once you have those skills, they take you to communication scenarios that you may have had no idea would use the same skills, but where you can excel, sharing your talent and experience.
If you have been reading this with increasing disquiet and disgust because the very thought of public speaking is beyond the pale, then here are 5 ways you can start building the skills you can use to support your success at work, and the growth of your career.
Forget the term “public speaking‘. It has too many associations and connections with a formal, judged, nerve-wracking performance.
Instead think of the basics of the outcome you want and what you bring to the communication.
You have talents, enthusiasms, opinions, skills and contributions you have made and can make in the future.
You have the need, the ambition to build your career.
Bring all of those into the equation and it becomes just a task to be done, a way of thinking.
Practise giving your opinion. It doesn’t have to be out loud, but if you can find an audience – a friend, a family, your cat – then give them your opinion on all sorts of weird and unexpected subjects.
Take the opposite view to your own. Argue for something absolutely ridiculous. Support that opinion with as many lies or facts as you can think of.
You will find your voice.
You will find that actually pleading a case for something where you actually are familiar with the subject matter,
at work, know the possible opinions of your audience, and what the current climate of opinion is, is relatively easy
afer you have perusaded you cat or dog that we need to send a lama into outer space, or that burning the local soccer goal posts is useful for the community.
Practise listening and reading body language,
especially of those you may find challenging or whom you don’t like,
and thinking what it says about them – their opinions, needs, triggers –
and that they are normal human beings.
Practice and notice when you are using confident communication and what it feels like where it doesn’t matter so much –
dealing with a shop-keeper or check-out person,
phoning an institution to organise a refund or upgrade,
just chatting at work.
Take that feeling with you into the speaking or communication that has more of a challenge and where the outcomes matter.
Prepare as much as possible, for stuctured, concise, confident, and especially authentic presentations.
Be prepared to tell stories. They are powerful.
And if PowerPoint is a must, keep the text simple, and prepare as much as possible for use of the stage.
Remember always – Fumbles are not Failures.
Keep the authenticity, the confidence and the connection and they will be soon forgotten if they were noticed at all.
Not only will it mean you can briefly tell a boss about the work you do without feeling egotistical and awkward,
not only will it mean you can present to a group of colleagues or to an interview panel.
not only will it mean you can speak at a conference, train the new recruits, or accept an award.
You will also have the skills to implement the comnunication necessary to move a project to success.
You will also have the skills to confidently take part in videoconferencing.
But most importantly
you will build personal confidence and assertiveness that spills over into all areas of your life.
Take on small projects to start with, if possible,
and say “yes” to the opportunities.
Contact me if you have an opportunity you need some help with.
And enjoy the results.
The power of the pause
I’m sure you’ve heard of it.
But let me put it into context.
Think about the calm before the storm – when your body knows before your mind that something is “in the air”.
Think about the silence in a forest where the trees are normally moving and the birds are normally chirping, and there is normally rustling in the grass. The silence triggers attention, heightened awareness and a closer connection to the environment and what might have created the silence – again, often before the mind has consciously registered what is going on.
Think about a page of text with no white space around words or paragraphs, with no indents or font changes, no bold or italics to make words stand out, no headings.
And yet for many of us, public speaking and presenting is just that – speaking, words -and we focus all of our attention on the words and getting the words and sentences and structure out before something happens to stop it – before we forget, before we are interrupted, before something goes wrong.
Which is a shame because when we slow down, purposefully, stop speaking strategically, we relax. Our voices drop and consequently sound more authoritative. We cause the audiences to trip up in the flow of words, and notice, have moments that bring real connection with what is going on. We bring about a chance to play with the audience, take them with us into this experience. And for ourselves, we experience the feelings of connection, power and confidence that make us want to speak, happy to speak, and that engage our audiences so that they like, know, trust us and take the next steps we have for them.
Types and Secrets of pauses
So let’s look at some of the types of pauses and the secrets to using pause in your speeches and presentations.
- Reflection
The first of these is used, especially in storytelling when you are creating a vivid setting, describing the senses and you pause after each ne, so that your audience senses, take ownership of the scene, is there in it with you.
The second is the moment when you have made your point and you want your audience to reflect on the point, take it in, see its value. It’s a way of saying “This is something I want you to think about, I’ll just give that a moment to sink in.” You may pause just before you state the point or just after you have done that, but it haws the power to make that point stick. It’s especially important if you have covered complex ideas or something that is very personal.
This supports and empowers your main message.
When you can implement it, the feeling is powerful.
- Emphasis
This is certainly used before a point, but before you even begin making the point. It builds the feeling that something new is coming, that you are moving in a new direction, and that it is important to you. You might move on the stage, walk, or change position, adjust material on the stage, and appear to be thinking.
This builds the power of your speech structure.
When you implement it, you feel more in control and have more faith in your prepared structure
- Drama
This is not so much dramatic or over-acted, but it heightens and changes the energy or tension of a presentation. It is usually part of a story or humorous section, but can be applied anywhere and it’s a chance to take the audience into your secret, a chance to silently say “See what I’m doing?” or “See what I did there”? You can look at them as you pause, maybe tilt your head, depending on the material.
This builds connection and engagement.
It reinforces your faith in yourself as a speaker.
- Fill in the blanks
I’m sure you’ve seen this done, or perhaps practised it yourself. It’s where you end a part of your speech with a sentence, a well-known sentence or saying. So having made the point that victory is achieved not by any single individual, but through everyone coordinating their efforts together, you might say “As we all know that there’s no I in …………….” And then make yourself wait until the audience (and they will) says “team.”
This is also a powerful pause, but I find it often overused. I have listened to speakers use it often and have begun to feel like I am in a classroom listening to a teacher, because It certainly does get an audience focussed and buying into the particular words or point.
- Control
This is a minor example I know, but I also know that I often get questions from clients who are nervous about staying in control of an audience and particularly of Q & A (Question and answer sessions) one technique to employ. If you pause before answering you give the questioner the honour and respect, you give the question honour and respect and take control without letting yourself answer too quickly and rambling without prior thought.
Pause and build your speaking rhythm, flow and style.
It can begin as early as when you first begin your speech before you utter a word or make a gesture. Pause, wait. Do you remember those moments in school when the teacher was quiet, someone was talking or ding something they shouldn’t and suddenly became aware of the silence? The effect is the same. You get attention and have it focussed.
The other effect is that you calm yourself, and you feel the power of that calm. Smile while you do it and you double the effect.
That same feeling and that same effect ome from any ause that you use during your speech – that same feeling of connection and power and that same trip into focus and connection.
Connection is vital. You are not just a speaker. This is a conversation, even if your audience doesn’t say a word. You are still in conversation with their ideas, their stories, their plans for their future, making suggestions, asking questions, giving guidance, taking them with you into the experience that is your presentation.
The other thing that is vital, is your audience having confidence in you – and you having confidence in yourself, so it takes courage, sometimes to slow down and to use pause. Much as the temptation is there to rush, to let the nerves produce nervous excitement, the result is worthwhile because you have, and you emit, that sense of being calm, confident and in control. Let the energy show through, but keep control and relate it to the message, the level of tension you want and the connection you are creating.
Before you begin, remember two things –
Breathe – that is the essence of calm, controlled pause
and
ask How can I connect with this audience, share the experience and serve?
Have fun with it, play with it, and get used to the feeling. Incorporate it into your own individual style. Pause and the mindset it builds can take you as a speaker from ordinary to extraordinary – a great feeling and a big step on the road to speaking success.
.
It has always been a challenge to maintain the view that the customer is always right – not just in speaking, but in business especially. It can try the most patient and accommodating business owner or customer service professional.
But if we can achieve it, maintain that view, go into our speaking with that view, then everything will fall into place so much more easily.
Validating your audience in any communication is guaranteed to build trust and engagement.
One of the basic premises of storytelling is that you need to meet the audience where they are.
And yes of course our audiences have the right to their objections to our propositions. The sooner we address those objections the sooner we can hope to succeed in putting forward our visions for them.
The structure of your presentation falls into place.
If you believe that your audience is always right, that they deserve the respect that that entails, then you will be happy to prepare all that you can to gain the understanding you need of what your audience feels, thinks, knows is right.
You will build confidence and calm because you are not trying to manipulate, you are giving respect and service.
And you will have laid the groundwork for success for yourself and for your customer/audience.
The sooner speakers understand this, that public speaking is not a manipulation, not a performance to be judged, not all about themselves, the better the standard of speaking will be. No, we may not have great “orators”, but we will have more successful public speakers, not afraid to be authentic and of service, and more audiences prepared to come back for more.
One of the secrets of great speakers is their use of time.
They know that if they have been given a time limit for their speech or presentation, that they will stick to that.
Why?
There are four very good reasons for us all to do the same, if we want to be successful.
Sticking to time forces you to be very clear in your message – no waffling, no beating around the bush. And that sort of focus really adds power to your message. If you want an outcome – for your audience to do, be or think something as a result of your presentation, make that message very, very clear.
Someone may have been hired you to speak – an event organiser, the program co-ordinator for an organisation. If you want to be re-hired, you need to keep that organiser confident that you can deliver the goods and make their job easier. If they have to step in to haul you off the stage, or if their whole schedule is upset because you spoke too long, then – unless your content went through the roof in terms of outcomes -they will not be terribly enthusiastic about re-hiring you or recommending you to their colleagues.
Really this is just common courtesy, not just a selfish, calculated piece of behaviour. You, me, us, extending courtesy, thinking of how we impact other people. It should be part of our value system, deeper and stronger than any need to hustle or sell or manipulate. It feels right. And of course, how we treat people will be part of your brand, part of the impact you make, and part of the way you will be remembered, because the behaviour indicates the deeper values. We are, after all, creating relationships which will bring in returns in multiples, far easier than trying to get business or results from every single stand-alone speaking gig.
Your audiences will form an opinion of you as well. As Stephen Keague said, ‘No audience ever complained about a presentation or speech being too short‘, but they will complain if you speak for too long.
Cuban President Fidel Castro is known for having delivered the longest continuous speech ever given in the General Assembly of the United Nations. Delivered in September 1960, it lasted for 4 hours and 29 minutes. He also spoke in a New York church, at a gathering of supporters, people who supported Cuba and its policies and having a closer relationship with the United States. He spoke for 4 hours and 16 minutes. After three hours, and the presentation of statistics from wads of paper, some of his audience had fallen asleep in the pews. Others walked out exhausted, leaving the church half full by the end of his speech. And these were enthusiastic supporters!
None of us wants the audience falling asleep like that, or walking out; after all what we want (and need) is their attention. Because something else that all speakers want (and need) from their audiences is to be remembered, to be reiterated around the water cooler the next day, quoted in memories of the event, and requested for the next conference or training day. To be remembered.
At Gettysburg in 1863, Edward Everett delivered a 13,607 word speech, that clocked in at 2 hours. The world has forgotten those 13,607 words, but not the three-minute address given by President Abraham Lincoln – famed and certainly not forgotten.
The value is not in how much you say but in what you say – your message.
And I know from experience that when you have not prepared properly, not honed your message to fit the time allowed, you find yourself racing through, speaking quickly just to fit it all in. University professors might have wanted a display of all the knowledge I had, but my audiences just want what is relevant to them and what they need to learn or believe or use. The curse of T.M.I. (Too Much Information) is very real. And if it results in a speedy delivery, then you will have lost the advantage of being able to add power to your words with a variety or pace, and the use of pause. It can also result in having no flexibility, no space to answer unexpected question, deal with interruptions or change with changing time slots. Knowing exactly the message and main points allows for all of those things.
It may be useful to you to time your speech. Practise it beforehand and time it. Or if you write it out beforehand, (I’m not sure why you would do that, but there may be good reason), you can use the fact that people tend to speak at 110 to 140 words per minute. That will allow you to work out how long the speech will take. Of course if you speak faster or slower than that, you will need to adjust. But be prepared enough to know how much time you have and how much time you will take. Winston Churchill said, “I’m going to make a long speech because I’ve not had the time to prepare a short one” and undoubtedly that was not to his advantage. Preparation counts!
I couldn’t resist reminding you of another famous quote of Winston Churchill’s “A good speech should be like a woman’s skirt, long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest.”
So while it may seem a cool, confident thing to be relaxed about the time you take, it’s better to build the habit of being aware of time and using it well. You create a focussed powerful message, you increase the chances of building favourable outcomes for your event coordinator and audience and you are free to speak with flexibility and engaging, memorable power. Watch the clock and you will have added another success tool to your speaking tool kit, and be a speaker who is remembered and rehired.
“People will forget what you say, but they will never forget how you made them feel.” (Maya Angelou)
Truer words in speaking have never been said.
My wife drives a Lexus. I’m not saying that to brag, but to prove a point. When we were car shopping, we saw cheaper vehicles that perform almost just as well as the Lexus, had bells & whistles. We even saw some sleek exteriors as well. But we still settled on the Lexus.
And honestly, we bought it for the “L”. The little “L” piece of metal that adorns the trunk and centre of the steering wheel.
Why? Because we buy with emotion and justify with logic.
Sure we saw more reasonably priced cars. But Lexus equals a bit more luxury, a bit more status, and a bit more class than the other cars we saw. And that’s why we bought it. But we tell people, “we got a good deal”, or “it drives better than the other cars” or some other reason that, although it’s probably true, it’s not why we bought the car.
My wife loves the car because of how it makes her FEEL. She loves sitting in the heated leather seats. She loves the push button start and the low hum of the engine. She loves cruising on the highway and feeling the smooth power of the vehicle.
Emotion is why we buy.
Emotion is also why we listen.
When you speak, you had better evoke some emotion out of your audience. Otherwise you WILL be forgotten after your speech is over. Maybe even before.
Make your audience do one of three things, and they will remember you long after you have finished speaking. Make them do all 3, and you will be far ahead of most speakers.
1) Make them LAUGH
I start with this one due to personal reasons. I love giving inspirational speeches. I literally get goosebumps when I get to the main message within my speech. I remember going to a conference and a speaker taught a breakout session on how to speak. He said that he gave motivational speeches, and that humor “wasn’t his thing”. I remember nodding thinking, “Yup! That’s me! I’m a motivational guy, not a funny guy.” I couldn’t have been more misguided. The truth is this – If eyes are the window to the soul, laughter is the gateway. Comedian Steve Harvey once said that his mentor Bill Cosby told him that when you get people to laugh, you have their undivided attention. And when you have someone’s undivided attention, you have the ability to affect them and make a positive impact on their lives. Once I learned that, I made it a point to uncover and add humor EVERY time I speak, regardless of topic. If you want to impact your audience,add excitement to every speech, and have audiences asking to hear more of you, you should do the same.
2) Make them THINK
When you speak, as Speaker Susan Lamb-Robinson says, you need to “Get under the skin, and get into the heart”. Sometimes you have to make people think about the pain they will have if they don’t follow the message that you are suggesting. Sometimes people won’t move until the pain of standing still hurts badly enough. So don’t be afraid to make your audience think. The emotion of Fear resulting from Inaction, can often be as powerful as the emotion of Happiness resulting from taking action. Make them Think, make them Feel, and they will Remember and Act.
3) Make them REFLECT
Reflection is an extension of thinking. When you find ways to make your audience not only think, but to reflect on their OWN reality or events from their past, then you’ve really got something! When people think about your story, you relate to them. But when they additionally REFLECT on their own stories in addition to yours, then you’ve moved them. They will be listening to you, while feeling the emotions related to their own lives. And that is a VERY powerful effect to have on someone. Get them to reflect, and they will be waiting for YOU to tell them what to do next.
People may forget what you say, but they will NEVER forget how you made them feel. And if you make them feel, they will also remember the most important things that you say.
This is a guest post from Kwesi Millington.
Kwesi is a public speaking, storytelling & confidence coach, teaching you to speak, share, serve and live with greater confidence. Check out his website at www.CommunicateToCreate.com and do watch his periscopes. He shares some very practical tips on speaking and story.
I have had several clients come to me, having left the corporate sector, and wanting to engage an audience without the power of their position.
Story will do that for you as a leader, without you having to rely on your authority, and that makes it so much more effective!!
Jane came from a position as Project Manager with a large mining company.
She was confident, strong, obviously aware of her skills and her success in her career.
She has seen a need in the industry and decided to leave her job and create a startup to develop software that would make work more efficient and effective.
And now she needed to pitch her product, market it, share her vision for it.
And I was amused to see her so obviously confused and bereft, really, when she came to me, admitting that she suddenly realised she couldn’t use her authority to engage her audience.
Amanda came to an open mic night to get feedback on her corporate “town hall” presentation.
It was so full of jargon that I understand maybe one sentence in three.
Nevertheless, she was obviously proud of her presentation. It proved she could “speak the language”. Her engagement and authority relied on it.
Both of these women and the men that I coach are suffering from varying degrees of disconnection with their audience.
Many aren’t even aware of it. That’s how it is done in their world and they are simply perpetuating their culture.
And their audience tolerate it, thinking that if only they understood the language a little better, they, too, could achieve success in that world.
Story is the ultimate connection tool.
It’s the ultimate engagement tool.
It’s the ultimate persuasion tool,
Tell your own story.
Tell the story of someone your audience knows, someone they can relate to.
Tell the story of how it could be for them, of how they could be, of how success will feel.
Choose the story with your audience in mind, with a lesson they need, with a vision they already know they own,
and there will be no more need for “authority” of “corporate speak” or bullying,
just a bonding, relationship building and cultural alignment that will surprise even the most hardened of corporate gangsters.