I am writing this as the world mourns David Bowie.
Something Bowie said reminded me about the dichotomy that we all face, in public speaking, between “performing” and being “authentic.”
Many of my clients come to me because they are deterred from speaking by their fear of “performing” this thing called public speaking, fear of not adequately meeting some set of criteria, and of losing their self and their real message in that performance. .
Many of you will know how much of a struggle the dichotomy has been for me. I spent many years entering (and winning my fair share) of public speaking competitions. It is a world unto itself, competitive public speaking, bound by rules, and it involves speaking knowing that one is being judged (a nervous beginner’s worst nightmare, and daunting for the old hands as well!).
So for all those years I operated within that world and its rules, doing well, but constantly feeling the weird dislocation of communicating with an audience via a strict set of guidelines.
It has been incredibly liberating to give up the concept of being judged as a performer.
But still the dichotomy remains – authenticity is vital and yet performance has to be factored in. They must still be in balance.
And for me, and for many others like me, there is also the strange “lure” of performance, threatening to pull that balance awry in a different direction.
Two “events” that have crossed my path in the last couple of weeks have really highlighted this “lure” of performance.
The death of David Bowie was one but before that …
You might also be aware of my interest/obsession (!) with Outlanders, the series of books … and with the TV series, how it is being made …
and with the lead actor who is a consummate professional on and off stage.
(The fact that his good looks are highlighted at every opportunity doesn’t hurt either, but it’s not the main source of my interest.!)
The image below is from an Instagram post. He has had to work out to create the build of the character, Jamie. But he is also very involved in charities and one program he runs is a fitness/goal achievement challenge from which the funds go to one of those charities. In the course of this fundraising he has had to endure photo shoots for a cross-fit magazine, to promote this fundraiser.
When you finish enjoying what he has achieved in terms of the physique, maybe you can read the text …
and see that possibility – of creating a performance, or a mask, behind which to hide the real you.
Where would you say this lies on the spectrum between authenticity and performing?
The second event, was the demise of David Bowie – a shock to the world. He was an icon of our age. Meant so much to so many people for so many reasons. He strummed our pain. He gave us possibilities outside our squares. He provided sheer entertainment and amazing music. He stimulated our creativity. He gave us solace.
Many of us are now listening to his latest and final recording for the hints he embedded about his attitude to life … and to death.
Even at the end, he was orchestrating his life. In 1976 he told Playboy “I’ve now decided that my death should be very precious. I really want to use it. I’d like my death to be as interesting as my life has been and will be.”
We are now looking back at the latest album, at the quotations, and connecting the dots back from the death of an icon. And in my efforts to do just that I found this quote which I put into a graphic.
Both of these beautiful, thoughtful, creative professionals, expressing the concept of a separate persona or mask in order to perform or “expose” oneself.
So there it is …
and while I do see performance as a lure, mindful as I am of lingering memories of old experiences, I also find in it support for my theory that
introverts make the best speakers!
And the dichotomy remains!
After lots of experience and deliberation, and now these two events, I have reached this …
that the compromise between performance and being yourself comes, I think, down to two things –
being your best self
and playing the game with your audience.
What do you think?
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If you struggle to keep your presentations simple, my Message Clarity process may help.
It’s guided brainstorming, with you, in person or via Skype, to pinpoint and define your message and to focus the content so that you create engagement, so that you achieve the outcomes you want from your presentation, and so that you and your message are … unforgettable. Go here to let me know the details of your presentation and what you want to achieve, and I will let you know how we will go about achieving it. Click here to Get that clarity now!
What is it that will make you go viral – become admired and rehired as a speaker?
What is it that will have audiences flocking to your presentations where they will engage with you, and change or act or think differently as a result of their experience?
Afterwards, their conversations will be about your presentation; stimulated by the experience, providing positive feedback to you … and to event coordinators!
And if there’s one thing event coordinators love, it’s speakers who come recommended, and with their own fan base.
What makes people tweet your sound bytes? What makes them recommend your presentation and share it? What makes them give that positive feedback?
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel” ~ Maya Angelou
The answer lies in the viral elements you embed in your presentations. These are the elements that create an experience for your audience, make them feel something, involve them. They catch and keep attention. They heighten the impact. They are then held in the memory, and shared later. They are the elements that make internet content go viral and that you can use to build your own reputation.
Here are 8 specific elements that provide those experiences on the internet – making people want to share, and making others want to click and experience for themselves – that you can use in your speaking to make you and your message “go viral”.
1. Tell a story
People are used to watching stories on screens – in the theatre, on television and computer. A piece of content that tells a story, on the internet, then, automatically captures attention and draws an audience in immediately. They follow along with the story, waiting for the entertainment or the learning that they expect from a story. Your audiences, too, have been hardwired by a long history of storytelling to automatically tune in to a story, giving you instant engagement – in the same way. You then have the opportunity to draw them in with you, into the story, its emotional arc and its “moral”. Make it vivid enough, make it work to communicate a point, and you have created that element, that experience, that feeling; a memory to be valued and shared.
2. Appeal to an emotion
May Angelou’s quote says it all. Emotion on its own is a means for content to go viral, and for you to create an element that people will remember from your presentation. It can by funny (think videos of babies laughing) or sad (family loss or cancer’s ravages), moving or stupid, cute (all those Facebook videos of cute animals) strange or gross. Create an emotion to associate with your message and attract “hits” – attention, and “shares” – recommendations.
3. Add a roller-coaster to the emotion …
and you multiply the effect. You may have seen the Dove “sketches” video. It utilises this effect well, as the women, originally challenged and then gradually coming to realise that they are seen as more beautiful than they see themselves. The emotion swells. This is storytelling at its best.
4. Be Positive/Uplifting
While it may seem that we are addicted to negative news and all that is awful, there are many pieces of viral internet content that are successful because they inspire us and show us that, as humans, we can be good, kind, tolerant. The video “Validation” is just one. Inspire your audience and you create an experience that they value, remember and share.
5. Use the unexpected
People love surprise. They love the unexpected. The “Gangnam style” video had an element of the unexpected (along with “humour” and a human element that people could relate to!) And the Pepsi ad “Test Drive” was based around the unexpected. If you can create this element in your presentation you engage your audiences, you add it to your speaker brand and you can make it a powerful viral element.
6. Use a compelling opening
Open with a bang, something that captures attention right from the start, and you have your audience focused on you and your content. You can use something we have already listed – a story, something unexpected, something emotionally evocative. Or use something guaranteed to get attention that the audience shares, such as geographical humour, reference to a local or international celebrity or an event you all shared. But open with a bang and follow up with content that is equally engaging and you have the elements of an experience, a viral speech.
7. Inform your audience. Open their minds
The classic internet example, of course, is the TED talks which show new ways of thinking about their topics. If you can present a unique viewpoint on a subject, a point that creates “lightbulb” experiences, then you can establish yourself as a thought-leader in your niche. People will be drawn to your presentations for the insight you can provide; just as the appellation of ”TED talk” draws internet users time and again to those speakers.
8. No ads
There are so many advertising videos produced now that are produced simply to go viral, and there is very little mention of the product. Evian’s “Baby and me” is a great example, and so is the Dove ad we mentioned before, and the numbers are climbing rapidly. These companies are very aware of the role of the story, the unexpected, and the way it can create such an experience that viewers remember that and then make the connection to the product. We as speakers can relax in this knowledge, especially since no audience wants a “salesy” presentation. Make your “sale” whatever it is, secondary to your great content and you still can be successful.
In the end, what you are providing is a memorable experience for your audience and that experience is heightened by the viral elements you use. Begin with your compelling opening, and then provide an experience that moves people and gives them new ways of thinking about things and you will
• have them engaged and focused on you and your message
• have them remembering, repeating, acting on and sharing you and your message.
• impress event coordinators who see that you come with recommendations, that their delegates are engaged and responding, are being moved to change and are talking about the speaker they chose.
Want success as a speaker? Go viral!
Each difficult moment has the potential to open my eyes and open my heart
We learn from our mistakes.
It’s been a hard lesson to learn, but I’m learning.
Mistakes are not failures.
Difficulties are not the end.
A speech that challenges in some way is not a reason to give up speaking.
Every time there is a difficulty, it is not the end but a sign post.
It is an indicator that something needs to be altered to avoid that difficulty next time, and therefore become a better speaker.
Are you nervous, perhaps to the point of not speaking at all? Then look at those nerves and see how they may be changed.
Did you not get the results you hoped for?
Did you have a difficulty with the equipment?
Did you have difficulty with the audience response?
There are a myriad of issues we face when we speak, but each one is a sign post to improvement, a trigger to open our eyes to how we can be better and to open our hearts so that we understand and forgive ourselves and better serve our audiences.
[Note to self – and you if you happen to be in the vicinity] Next time you find me beating myself up over some error/mistake/failure, please will you just remind me of the wonderful improvements that lie ahead for me. Thank you!
It’s not just speaking … when we speak to persuade.
Successful persuasion also lies in the ability to actively listen, even in the field of public speaking.
Successful speaking to persuade relies on knowing your audience.
What are their needs and wants.
How are they thinking about your proposal.
What are they likely to favour about it?
What is going to stand in the way of them being persuaded?
What are their doubts?
What are their objections?
What are the obstacles to them moving forward with your suggestions?
Listen to them – before the presentation – survey them, talk to them, ask the event organiser about the – and listen.
Listen to them – during the presentation – ask them questions – and listen.
Successful speaking to persuade relies on seeing moments where you can gain agreement – maybe a comment or question from your audience, a situation from which you can draw an analogy, maybe a report back from a group discussion.
Listen for those and keep a line of thinking open that will allow you to use those moments to really amp up the energy of your speaking response.
Successful speaking to persuade relies on your being adaptable. It’s one of the lessons I teach in my workshops and seminars on PowerPoint. Be prepared to change the course or direction of your presentation. If it seems that your audience puts value on one point or discussion over another, or if the feedback, comments or discussion suggests that a different direction would wok best, then be prepared to change the structure of the presentation that you had prepared in advance.
This means that not only is your structure working for you. It also means that you are building trust. You care enough about your audience to change direction for them and you are confident enough in your material and your beliefs to change direction for them.
Listen, then to their comments, to their suggestions and the tone of their discussions.
So I have covered three areas of listening that will build the success of your persuasive speaking – knowing your audience, watching for opportunities to ramp up the energy and being adaptable.
Do you use any other listening techniques to successfully persuade?
[Quotation about public speaking] The success of your presentation depends on more than your knowledge
I am writing this after a scrumptious dinner in a town in the north of our state called Townsville. I am looking out over moon-sparkled water and the dark mass of almost-tropical islands close off-shore …
… a holiday-inspired article which nevertheless applies to all of us who speak and to those of us, also, who work on branding our businesses.
And I was inspired, today as we wandered down the main street of the town full of historical buildings and more modern businesses.
There it was. This sandwich board.
It caught my eye and then my imagination.
I had to go back and look again.
And what made it do that?
There are three reasons and they are all techniques we can use in our speaking and our branding to have people caught, intrigued and going back for another look (or listen).
1. She used Alliteration
All those Ps!
It’s a beautiful rhetorical and literary device, alliteration, and it creates an effect called foregrounding
It creates a little hitch in the flow of attention, a little distraction. People might not even be aware that you used it, but they will be drawn to the words and their meaning. with a slight sense of intrigue.
If we count Pre-Push as one word, there is also anther device called the Rule of Three operating here. Create a list of three or a group of three and we have the same effect – that slight sense of interruption and something special.
2. She used Humour
(I’m using the word “she” because I met the owner of the establishment as I was taking a photo. She had a beautiful smile and very graciously and humbly accepted my exclamations about her marketing and my explanation that I wanted to use her work to share with you.)
I have never seen “Pre-push” used before.
Have you?
And even if you have, you have to admit it has flair.
It is a classic humour device – using the unexpected.
It made me smile and if we can make our audiences smile, we have them a little more open to feeling that we are likeable, that they can trust and believe our message.
3. She used an image
It’s a subtle reinforcement, this image, of just what is meant by “Pre-push”, and has a strong sense of the feminine, aimed, no doubt, at the target client, or perhaps her significant others.
We use images, too, to support our points when we speak. We don’t need them to be distracting from our message, nor do we want them to be offensive.
(… and yes I have blocked out one of the words in the promotion in case you were offended or distracted by it!!)
So if you are in Townsville. Queensland, Australia and in need of some pampering, pre-push, I recommend you check out Bellanova.
And if you are in front of an audience, either presenting or online, I recommend you check out the lessons from her sandwich board, They are simple, subtle and powerful!!
Why would you give your audience homework?
How could homework be a gift?
~
Most school children hate homework, or at least see it as a chore.
Why do school children have homework?
I imagine there are many reasons, but one must be to solidify the learning done in school.
Because we learn by doing.
We reinforce theory with practice.
We multiply the learning by applying what we have learned to our own lives.
We take ownership of the learning when we implement it.
~
We take ownership of the learning when we implement it.
~
Spend time in the classroom or with an inspirational speaker, and we take in theory.
We take in enthusiasm, too, hopefully!
We take in the steps to success.
We take those “in”… at the time.
But how far “in” do they go as soon as we leave the classroom
… as soon as the speaker leaves the podium
… as soon as the lesson has ended?
How often have you listened to a motivational speaker, felt motivated … and then several weeks, or even days, later, if someone asked what you were doing differently now, could not remember what his message was or what you had felt so motivated to do????
Clever speakers give their audiences homework.
Caring speakers who really want their audiences to achieve or grow or benefit give their audiences the gift of homework.
They will learn by doing.
They will reinforce theory with practice.
They will multiply the learning by applying what they have learned to our own lives.
They will take ownership of the learning when they implement it.
So if you care about your audience, really want them to change, really want to be of service, what will you ask them to do when they get home after your presentation?
One of the best pieces of advice any speaking coach can give is to create a message for your speech.
One central message.
Do not speak until you have one central message – one sentence – make it 140 characters if you’re a tweep – but one sentence. Limit it to ten words if you want to really succeed.
If you were to condense your speech into one sentence what would that sentence be?
It forces us to really focus on our audiences.
Who are they? What do they really want? What is it that we really want to say to them? What is it that we really NEED to say to them?
Creating that one sentence forces us to simplify our speech structure. If there is only one message, then every single section, sentence and word needs to support that sentence. What doesn’t work is jettisoned. How much easier does that make your choice of material and avoiding the temptation to ramble?!!
And when there is one single message in our presentation, then obviously there can only be one next step for the audience to take. If we give them too many options, they end up confused and take none. If there is just one next step for them, we are forced to present that in the most powerful, persuasive passionate way we can.
The problem, of course is that we would prefer to speak about a topic . “My passion is about TOPIC A,” we think. “I’ll speak about that – share my passion, get the audience enthused and inspired.” If there is no message, though, we are left with the challenges of how to choose content, how to maintain the enthusiasm and inspiration, and, most importantly, no specific outcome for the audience, (or ourselves).
For many of us, too, there is the old belief that public speaking is all about showing just how knowledgeable we are – bombard the audience with heaps of important information and we have created an image of ourselves as …. worth knowing, worth hiring, worth whatever it is that we are desiring from this experience. And what does the audience get from the experience? Overload, confusion, maybe even boredom.
What do they remember? Possibly they remember one or two points – a story, perhaps or a word picture. And all that information was wasted. Unless we are incredibly good at creating a particular experience with the presentation, then it was wasted.
Having one single message, one single desired outcome, one single focus, would have made the limiting of the information overload so much easier.
And the process of creating this message?
I said at the beginning that this was one of the best pieces of advice that a speaking coach can give.
It’s true.
It is not true, however, that the message must be formulated first.
Much as I would like to teach a single process to building a speech, it just doesn’t work that way – well certainly not for me.
There is research about the topic, usually. There is a process of researching the audience. There is the collection and refinement of possible content. There are the thought processes that winnow and define the outcome required. They all respond to each other, careening and intertwining and sparking off each other. And out of all of those processes, finally comes a message.
Start with the topic by all means. But let the message develop.
It’s a difficult process, but one of the most rewarding!
“Speaking is selling”
It’s an ugly phrase, that. I feel its ugliness.
Speaking is pure – a mixture of art and science.
Selling – urgh – ugly – involves low-down, dirty manipulation, something that forces its recipients and audiences to put up barriers against trust and hope and good taste – at best a game with winners and losers.
!!!!
Well, I have to say that’s a common feeling.
We start out with a fabulous idea. It makes us feel good and full of light. It’s going to change the world.
It might be an idea that will make people feel better, live better, or make the world a better place.
It might even be a product or program that will also make an income for us doing what makes us feel good and full of light instead of dull and bored and chained to a desk.
And then we discover that people do not necessarily come running to be part of that beautiful idea.
It’s going to involve persuasion and marketing … and … selling – and that doesn’t necessarily mean selling, as in asking for money for a product.
It can just mean selling the vision, the idea so that people change their minds, think differently, act differently – persuasion – just another form of that ugly manipulation, really.
What if …
What if …
we could shine that light out into the minds of the audience?
What if …
What if …
we could shine that light as an inspiration, a source of hope, an answer?
What if …
What if …
it illuminated a vision those audience members already had – buried beneath a deep, heavy layer of doubt and self-distrust and painful sense of failure?
Not so ugly?
Not so shameful?
Not so manipulative?
“Speaking is inspiring”!