Your failures, faults and foibles – Shameful or … powerful credentials?

I wanted to write to you today, about something that is close to my heart and drives much that I do for me and for you in speaking and story.

And I know, in this world, my world, where heart meets hustle, that it is a powerful way forward for anyone who chooses it.

It began for me, when I was presenting my first workshop on story after leaving behind the world of public speaking driven by rational over mythical, business-like, scientific over emotional connection.

I was outlining my own amazing discovery that we need not always present our credentials as successes we had achieved – our academic qualifications, our millions made, our published bestsellers. They have their place if artfully used, or for certain audiences, but in the main they are outflanked over and over by stories.

Stories that tell of failures, of faults, of foibles,

that share the shame and hurt, the downs and disasters, often of our own making

and, of course, tell of recovery and victory over the losses, of wisdom gained, or being gained.

For a story is of no use, then, unless you are in recovery.*

I saw faces light up in the workshop participants. I saw a new relaxation into something that was real and not part of the cult of faked confidence and credibility that they somehow felt they needed to take on in their speeches and presentations.

It was about that time that I coined a new tag line – “Shake off the fake and feel the freedom of real.”

Because in those moments of story, an audience is seeing hope, they may be feeling not so alone (“It’s not just me”), and you are giving them a way forward.

And if you are in business,

if you want to move hearts and minds

lead,

that is the power –

power with integrity

of pure credibility.

I learned once upon a time to keep a file of success – achievements, certificates, testimonials, and contributions. It felt good to look over it once in a while, but the idea of keeping a file of failures was kind of funny and yet something I now realised, was of real value. This is the basis of a story bank – your story assets stored for use – and for ideas – that will give you the presence and connection you need.

………………………………………….

* I wrote above

For a story is of no use, then, unless you are in recovery.*

And it is true with the word “then” added.

It is not always true, though, as I found out after that initial reaction from that workshop, other events that happened there, and my own reading and research.

The power of sharing those faults, failures and foibles and having them witnessed, without judgement, is immense.

It leads to healing, to recovery, slow though it may be.

The witnessing again sends that message, “You are not alone.”

Yes I can teach you to hustle, if you must, to create change, whatever it may be with integrity and heart

my aim is to create a space for that witnessing to happen – perhaps one day outside of the field of public speaking – but now in public speaking training, having that witnessing as you try out speaking in a safe space, and because finding the story you need to speak with aligned authenticity can bring the healing too.

One of the most powerful quotes from Brene Brown is “Shame thrives in silence.”

……………………………………………

Let me remind you that public speaking blocks are not shameful and the story of your successful, confident, fluent speaking needs to progress beyond whatever blocks are holding it back, without shame, with hope, and growing confidence.